Disclaimer : It is not a swimming coaching manual, so please don’t try this!!! And I am not posting any picture of me in my swimming costume, because I haven’t receive the payment yet from “Sports Illustration” to do so!!
Guys and whatsoever one or two girls reading this, first of all be very clear that I still don’t know swimming even after spending my whole life at around 700m from the bank of Ganges and studying in a school having a swimming pool!! The basic reason behind this is I am Very LAZY and hygienic (haha!! just to give a good reason)!!! BTW, I didn’t want to check my immune system by swimming in the “Holy” Ganges and talking about the school pool, we were allowed to use it once a year during “The Pool Side Party” (well I think there were swimming classes in the evening but who cares what happens there after school!). For the Non- Michaelites ,The Pool Side Party isn’t as cool as it sounds. Girls used to play in the pool in the 1st half with all the boys abandoned and when the time for boys would come, they would eat their snacks sitting besides the pool watching us taking dive in the pool!!!
I always had the desire to learn swimming ever since Amisha Patel had to save Hrithik in KNPH!!!
So when I heard that pool would be starting at out college, I was determined abhi nai to kabhi nai!! I even tried to jumpstart the process even before the pool had opened and avoided a DISCO by 4 hrs!!
I wanted to dive in the pool In the very 1st slot on the inauguration day but couldn’t thanks to registration process of Insti and dress code in pool. Then the time came when I had the swimming costume but the pool closed for repair!!
Finally on 31st march 2010 in the slot 4.45 to 5.30pm , I had my first ‘legal’ jump in the pool and felt all the waters rushing in through nose, ears , eyes and whatever places in that very jump!! I tried to learn from some guys who claimed to know swimming but couldn’t pick up anything for first few minutes. Slowly I made my first ‘float’ after a lot of unsuccessful attempts. Then Mozzie taught me basic body position while floating which surely helped. I was now able to float successfully to some distance. Sunil told me to rotate arms as if bowling to travel in water and how to use my legs to keep my body up and also travel ahead. I kept on practicing those few tricks umpteenth times. The intake of water through nose and ears too couldn’t deter me. Finally till the end of session I could travel around 10 to 15 m.
It was quite tiring with my legs straining but still quite enjoyable 1st experience.
But wait “Amisha” don’t jump yet, I have still a lot lot to learn to save you!!
Be a Vampire – Questionnaire Form
Q1. Why do you want to be a vampire when there are other respectable living creatures too?
Q2. When you become a vampire, what steps will you take to expand your family?
Q3. What will you do if you have a crush on a human?
Q4. What is your present routine? And how will you shift into the routine of a vampire?
Q5. How much happening is your night life?
Q6. On a cold night which of the following hot drink will you like to take:
a)hot coffee b) hot chocolate c) human blood d)hot tea
Q7. What will you prefer
a) Sleep on bed in a comfortable house
b) Or sleeping hanging upside in bat form
Q8. Why tournaments such as IPL are more suited for us (both playing and watching)? And also mention the bonus.
Q9. You may have to study in the same class again and again to hide your age. How will you cope with it??
Q10. Which part of the world would you prefer to hang out as vampire (remember you can’t roam in sun)???
Q11. Who will be your fashion icon as a vampire?
Q12. Which bank would you like to rob
a) Swiss Bank b) Deutsche Bank c)Bank of New York d)Webster Bank
Q13. What’s best cosmetic for your wrinkling and ageing skin?
Q14. Suppose you are on a road trip. Which place will you choose to spend your daytime?
a)hotels b)motels c)bars d)discos
Q15. Which disease is most dangerous for you?
Terms & Conditions:
1. Answer of these questions will prove how much you like a vampire and how much have you thought to be a vampire.
2. The answers shall be evaluated by the judges. No further queries shall be entertained.
3. Some questions may be trick questions. Answer carefully
4. Participants shall not be below 18.
5. Once transformed, you cannot return back in normal human form.
6. We are not responsible for your deeds and whatever happens to you.
7. Don’t forget to attach your vampire photo with the form otherwise your form will be rejected. If you don’t have such photo you can send a photo in which your canine teeth are clearly visible.
P.S: This form was designed after some guys demanded that they too wanted to be a vampire like me and wanted to know the criteria, terms & conditions. U can send the completed form to bitanshubitsnbytes62@gmail.com.
Q2. When you become a vampire, what steps will you take to expand your family?
Q3. What will you do if you have a crush on a human?
Q4. What is your present routine? And how will you shift into the routine of a vampire?
Q5. How much happening is your night life?
Q6. On a cold night which of the following hot drink will you like to take:
a)hot coffee b) hot chocolate c) human blood d)hot tea
Q7. What will you prefer
a) Sleep on bed in a comfortable house
b) Or sleeping hanging upside in bat form
Q8. Why tournaments such as IPL are more suited for us (both playing and watching)? And also mention the bonus.
Q9. You may have to study in the same class again and again to hide your age. How will you cope with it??
Q10. Which part of the world would you prefer to hang out as vampire (remember you can’t roam in sun)???
Q11. Who will be your fashion icon as a vampire?
Q12. Which bank would you like to rob
a) Swiss Bank b) Deutsche Bank c)Bank of New York d)Webster Bank
Q13. What’s best cosmetic for your wrinkling and ageing skin?
Q14. Suppose you are on a road trip. Which place will you choose to spend your daytime?
a)hotels b)motels c)bars d)discos
Q15. Which disease is most dangerous for you?
Terms & Conditions:
1. Answer of these questions will prove how much you like a vampire and how much have you thought to be a vampire.
2. The answers shall be evaluated by the judges. No further queries shall be entertained.
3. Some questions may be trick questions. Answer carefully
4. Participants shall not be below 18.
5. Once transformed, you cannot return back in normal human form.
6. We are not responsible for your deeds and whatever happens to you.
7. Don’t forget to attach your vampire photo with the form otherwise your form will be rejected. If you don’t have such photo you can send a photo in which your canine teeth are clearly visible.
P.S: This form was designed after some guys demanded that they too wanted to be a vampire like me and wanted to know the criteria, terms & conditions. U can send the completed form to bitanshubitsnbytes62@gmail.com.
The Journey of NITR Roadies
Well 1st of all let me clarify that I am not a very big fan of Roadies. I started watching it because of Bani only. Then came Ankita, Shambavi, Anmol, Tamanna, Roop, Bobby,and Natasha to keep me engaged to Roadies 5.0 and 6.0.
I wasn’t actually interested in participating in the event NITR Roadies by shelling out 200 bucks for registration but still the name of the judges meant I had a good chance and when the form was given at my room by some junior, I decided to take part. The form was quite interesting ,I filled it within 15 mins and submitted to one of the judge. Being closer to the “Raghu” and “Ranvijay” meant I didn’t have to go through the interview process and was directly selected in the main round. If my maths and memory is not weak then I think there were total 14 selected for the event and alas only 4 were girls and none were gorgeous!!
Teams were divided and the 1st task was to catch a cock (the bird of course you perverts!!!). I was more intended to save my Lee T-Shirt and JP jeans so I did not take too much trouble and let others do the catching stuff. Second task is not worth mentioning.
Next day began with one of the participant pulling out and another not turning up. Egg catching and dropping into basket task was easy and our group won. There was a money collecting task and ask the participants those who collected (borrowed) large sum are still regretting!! Our group was the winner in this task too thanks to Rambo and so we had a double vote out. Let’s not go into details of the vote outs and all and jump straight to the watermelon task. It was the most difficult task for me as watermelon was and still is YUCK for me!! We had to eat the watermelon without using our limbs and I somehow managed to eat and still not vomit there. But there was the next task waiting. It was to drink “ajwain pani”, which smelled bad and tasted worse, as much as we can in 5 mins and also run!!! My tummy already full with watermelons decided to quit taking any more water after 3 glasses and I threw up like never before. I never threw up so much even after 3 bottles of beer!! I still tried to take more and kept throwing up, total 5 legitimate rounds were counted and somehow we managed to tie with the opposition(there’s always a somehow!!!) and thank God the guys performing the task were made immune. Girls were asked to eat very ripe bananas but our team lost the task. There was another task that day but I was not performing in that so I skipped it here (this is my blog, I will write about myself only, those who have complains, they are free to write their own blog!!!). The day ended with 9 participants left.
The last day of NITR Roadies began with a combo task of cycling and basketball in which you were supposed to basket sitting on a cycle in motion. Once again we were in the victorious group courtesy to some poor skills of the other team and “stand out” performance of Rambo( nick name of a participant). Poster collecting task depended more on the knowledge of NIT rather than anything else and it was a free way to remove the NITRUTSAV posters by the organizers!! Is it necessary to mention that my group WON again?? There was a tug of war (need to mention the winners??) in which two participants suffered minor injuries(however their expressions suggested something else!!) We lost our 1st and only task when my mouth proved too small to eat a Mowa hanging above my head!!
After it came the most embarrassing task. We were made to do sit ups on the centre stage of esplanade thanks to “incredible” mathematics of girls (it also shows the fact why so many girls cry after board maths paper!!). I did a total of 118 sit ups including 58 in 1 min!! A guy, voted out earlier, shot the whole push up thing and said “Dudes! This one’s going to Youtube!!!”).
I replied sheepishly” Blur my face and please don’t write the caption- Punishment for eve teasing!!!” .Wait friends! Don’t go and check out Youtube to check whether its been uploaded or not!! Pleassseeee. Izzat ka sawal hai!!
Moving over, the next task was bit physical. We were supposed to sit in a chair position(though it looked more of a position we sit everyday morning !!!) balancing cups on our legs, head and stretched out hands. 3 of the contestants clocked 7 mins, so the tie breaker was implied in which cups were filled with water. Needless to say I won (thank god the tiebreaker lasted only 20 secs)!!! And the 1st year girl in my group won the dart competition between the two girls(effect of my group!!), I was given the opportunity to choose my finalist between the girl and another boy. Those who know me will know whom I chose!! But to carry her into finals I had to sprint around 50 yards and untie her in 35 secs. The final was about collecting signatures from the NITRUTSAV secretaries, conveyors and coordinators. It was completed easily with the support of my friends and I had become the NITR Roadie(though there were no crowds and not much cheer but a lot of GPLs and demand of Treat!!!!).
Oh!! Thank you for your applause. I am flattered!!!
I wasn’t actually interested in participating in the event NITR Roadies by shelling out 200 bucks for registration but still the name of the judges meant I had a good chance and when the form was given at my room by some junior, I decided to take part. The form was quite interesting ,I filled it within 15 mins and submitted to one of the judge. Being closer to the “Raghu” and “Ranvijay” meant I didn’t have to go through the interview process and was directly selected in the main round. If my maths and memory is not weak then I think there were total 14 selected for the event and alas only 4 were girls and none were gorgeous!!
Teams were divided and the 1st task was to catch a cock (the bird of course you perverts!!!). I was more intended to save my Lee T-Shirt and JP jeans so I did not take too much trouble and let others do the catching stuff. Second task is not worth mentioning.
Next day began with one of the participant pulling out and another not turning up. Egg catching and dropping into basket task was easy and our group won. There was a money collecting task and ask the participants those who collected (borrowed) large sum are still regretting!! Our group was the winner in this task too thanks to Rambo and so we had a double vote out. Let’s not go into details of the vote outs and all and jump straight to the watermelon task. It was the most difficult task for me as watermelon was and still is YUCK for me!! We had to eat the watermelon without using our limbs and I somehow managed to eat and still not vomit there. But there was the next task waiting. It was to drink “ajwain pani”, which smelled bad and tasted worse, as much as we can in 5 mins and also run!!! My tummy already full with watermelons decided to quit taking any more water after 3 glasses and I threw up like never before. I never threw up so much even after 3 bottles of beer!! I still tried to take more and kept throwing up, total 5 legitimate rounds were counted and somehow we managed to tie with the opposition(there’s always a somehow!!!) and thank God the guys performing the task were made immune. Girls were asked to eat very ripe bananas but our team lost the task. There was another task that day but I was not performing in that so I skipped it here (this is my blog, I will write about myself only, those who have complains, they are free to write their own blog!!!). The day ended with 9 participants left.
The last day of NITR Roadies began with a combo task of cycling and basketball in which you were supposed to basket sitting on a cycle in motion. Once again we were in the victorious group courtesy to some poor skills of the other team and “stand out” performance of Rambo( nick name of a participant). Poster collecting task depended more on the knowledge of NIT rather than anything else and it was a free way to remove the NITRUTSAV posters by the organizers!! Is it necessary to mention that my group WON again?? There was a tug of war (need to mention the winners??) in which two participants suffered minor injuries(however their expressions suggested something else!!) We lost our 1st and only task when my mouth proved too small to eat a Mowa hanging above my head!!
After it came the most embarrassing task. We were made to do sit ups on the centre stage of esplanade thanks to “incredible” mathematics of girls (it also shows the fact why so many girls cry after board maths paper!!). I did a total of 118 sit ups including 58 in 1 min!! A guy, voted out earlier, shot the whole push up thing and said “Dudes! This one’s going to Youtube!!!”).
I replied sheepishly” Blur my face and please don’t write the caption- Punishment for eve teasing!!!” .Wait friends! Don’t go and check out Youtube to check whether its been uploaded or not!! Pleassseeee. Izzat ka sawal hai!!
Moving over, the next task was bit physical. We were supposed to sit in a chair position(though it looked more of a position we sit everyday morning !!!) balancing cups on our legs, head and stretched out hands. 3 of the contestants clocked 7 mins, so the tie breaker was implied in which cups were filled with water. Needless to say I won (thank god the tiebreaker lasted only 20 secs)!!! And the 1st year girl in my group won the dart competition between the two girls(effect of my group!!), I was given the opportunity to choose my finalist between the girl and another boy. Those who know me will know whom I chose!! But to carry her into finals I had to sprint around 50 yards and untie her in 35 secs. The final was about collecting signatures from the NITRUTSAV secretaries, conveyors and coordinators. It was completed easily with the support of my friends and I had become the NITR Roadie(though there were no crowds and not much cheer but a lot of GPLs and demand of Treat!!!!).
Oh!! Thank you for your applause. I am flattered!!!
I wanna be a Vampire!!!
Dudes I am tired of this normal human life. Supernatural and Stephenie Mayor’s masterpiece along with series such as “True Blood”, ”Vampire Diaries”, “V” has made me to think how cool it would have been to be a Vampire. Really I wanna be an Edward Cullen now with abilities like super strength, super speed, super hearing power etc etc. Think guys, life would be so cool with them. First of all, you could go and look into mirror without signs of ageing!!100s yrs of age and still you look like a teenager! Cool ha?
I see that even my lifestyle suits perfectly for being a vampire. Sleeping in day and doing all other stuffs at night! So being vampire means a jhakaas nightlife. No worries of earning to eat. Any financial problems, then simply switch back to your old trusted vampire ways!
The new girl looks damn hot, wanna make her your girlfriend?? Cut the crap of impressing, proposing etc. ,just get hold of her and suck few drops of blood, she is in your family now!! No waste of time! Or you want a short term relation? Then simply use your hypnotizing power!
Imagine you are far away from a bathroom and there’s the unwanted emergency call. A normal human being would have no option but either to run towards a lonely place or shag in pants in the process doing so! But being a vampire, u don’t need to worry. Use your super speed to reach to the bathroom in time! Forgot something important at your home? Super speed is always there to help you. Be it some practical copy or your ID card, anything is just a few mins away! NIT students, no need to hide notes in bathroom during exam when you have access to your room in the same time!
Talking about exams, what better way is to hypnotize the invigilator and write an open book exam or make a conference call during it! May be there’s a super vision too to let you peek into the topper’s copy.
Top priority for guys: wanna know what girls talk about?? When will your super hearing ability come in use. Every girlie chit chat now seems to be taking place next to you!
Feeling week n your powers too seems weak? No need to worry or shell out hefty doc’s check up fees. Just have some blood to drink, it rejuvenates instantly and you are back in business.
Found your Bella Swan?? Take a leaf out of Edward’s book. Show her your reddish brown eyes, glittering body and the next moment she would want to become a vampire too!
And what should I write about super strength: it’s every guys’ dream. Taking pangas and dealing with it with your fists: pure Sunny Deol style!
Anyone reading this having same thoughts then let me know. We together can begin our quest to become one with fangs. I am even planning to have a visit to Transylvania!!!
Any vampire reading this is requested to contact me so that we can discuss our terms and conditions and let me be a part of his family.
BTW, it seems i make quite a cute vampire!!!!!
Binga!!!!
Scene 1 : The clock’s showing around 2.10pm in the afternoon in the Port of Spain. All the Australians look tired. Lara is well settled in 70s and seems to produce another masterclass while chasing 407. The pitch is as benign as it can be; ball hardly seems to be bouncing. Suddenly the red cherry is handed over to an enthusiastic blonde. Everything seemed to change. The blonde hustling in from round the wicket aims at Lara’s body and suddenly pitch becomes responsive to the energy of the bowler. Lara is made to jump, sway, duck to everything hurled at him for the next 20 mins. He is reduced to being a puppet owned by his master, the blonde quickie. The same thing continues till tea and even after that. Lara’s confidence takes a major blow and he finally gets out to a harmless Stuart McGill. The spell on either side of the Tea interval handed the match to Australia.
Scene 2 : India is touring Australia in December. It’s Boxing Day Test, Melbourne full house. Australia have unearthed a new fast bowler who is touted to be the next fastest to ‘Thommo’. The young blonde, looking like a Hollywood star, comes as first change. Everyone have their one eye fixed on the new kid on the block and the other one on the speedometer. He steams in and bowls the first ball. People murmur “Gosh! He is quick!”. Indians, never known for their ability against fast bowling, finds him too hot to handle. The kid finishes the innings with 5/47. A star was born.
Scene 3: It’s a hot June afternoon in Antigua. West Indies are cruising along at 310/4 with Chanderpaul looking solid as rock. The blonde is in action again. He gleefully accepts the unrewarding, dead old ball given to him by his captain and he turns it into a boomerang. The next 6 overs bowled by him is one of the finest spell of reverse swing ever bowled. He turns the match single handedly in those 6 overs by taking 5 wickets-2 LBWs, 2 Bowled and 1 Caught Behind.
These are the scenes that give me Goosebumps and because of them only cricket is my favorite game.
Yes. I am talking about Brett Lee here. The best fast bowler ( and I mean fast bowler not some guy bowling in 130s) of this decade. The guy who retired from Test Cricket and nobody cared because the whole world was going gaga over Sachin Tendulkar’s 200. Such is a luck of a fast bowler! You always give 110% of your effort, bowl in excruciating pain, bowl your hearts and lungs out on dead and docile pitches, everytime charge in to bowl so that the spectators get excitement and when the day comes that you tell the world that you can no longer keep on doing that because you have already torn off your body in doing so, you see everyone flocking towards a guy, holding a bat murdering your kind, who has already got enough adulation of a seven lifetimes!!
FAST BOWLERS are mad!!
Such has been Lee’s luck! He always bowled his heart out but in return the praises would be showered on a charismatic and talismanic Shane Warne or pin point accurate Glenn McGrath or even the black bagman Jason Gillespie and Mitchell Johnson. On being the quickest, the limelight was hogged by an errant Shoaib Akhtar and now Shaun Tait, a mere 4 to 10 over bowler!! Dale Steyn is now termed as the best fast bowler but the cricket pundits forget that he rarely goes past 148 and Bond hardly plays! On even his last day in test cricket, he limped off the field not carried on shoulders around the park. And when he decided to walk into sunset, Tendulkar was there to snatch even that moment from him.
Tough Luck Buddy!
He was a guy who would on any given day any given time bowl 150+ even if the pitch was dead, the body refusing to go along with the mind, the grounds were empty or the result was merely a formality. He drew girls to stadium by looks and guys there to feel the rush of adrenaline. He had looks to be the next Shane Warne and he plays guitar too, but he remained pure Brett Lee, a gentleman.
Not to forget his tireless and safe fielding alongwith his handy batting which almost managed to win the 2005 Ashes 2-1! Who can forget the sympathetic pat on Lee’s shoulder by the big, burly Freddie, another moment when he ended on the wrong side of fame!
The brand Brett Lee doesn’t just end on the Cricket ground. He plays guitar and probably is the best musician who has played test cricket ever. He has a band named “Six and Out”.
He has even sung in tune with the legendary Asha Bhonsle and that too in Hindi! He has acted in bollywood too, though taking name of the film here would be an insult to Lee himself!! He even has his own fashion line BL!I will always miss The Blonde in pure white test clothes steaming in towards the batsman with an adrenaline rush and hurling thunderbolts one after another. Test cricket and its spectators will always miss the sight!
But the silver lining is
He will keep playing in the limited over formats and we will see him in IPL too. Hope he bags the purple cap this time and no one else takes away the limelight this time.
P.S. I am really sorry to bring this post so late.
inspired from the article: "Hail Binga, you singing,swinging, fast bowling thing" from cricinfo. To read it, click here.
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